Exhaustion from Rest
May. 10th, 2019 10:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alchemistdoctor I've done it. Officially finished my bachelor's. Passed Orgo 2. I'm exhausted.
I have had a few days off, gotten my head together a bit better. I'm still not 100%. I think a lot of this is that all my friends are gone, off to their 'homes', but also just that I don't do well without productivity. I've been working on my FTH work, scrapped two drafts. Working on my resume. Slowly building anxiety about getting a 'real job'. Normal stuff.
Still not great mentally or emotionally, though.
I'd been hoping that once school was over, I'd have a little more brain-space. Time to get my shit together, so to speak. Instead I'm still stressed to hell, it's just a non-specific type of stress that I can't address by finishing a school project.
I really miss my friends.
In the end, I'm stuck doing some of the same avoidance coping mechanisms I did before: read fanfic, refuse to watch the endings of series', etc. I would do therapy but until I have a 'real job', I can't afford it, so until then I'm just waiting. Kinda sucks. I want a purpose again, but I don't want to job hunt for it. I hate job hunting.
I have had a few days off, gotten my head together a bit better. I'm still not 100%. I think a lot of this is that all my friends are gone, off to their 'homes', but also just that I don't do well without productivity. I've been working on my FTH work, scrapped two drafts. Working on my resume. Slowly building anxiety about getting a 'real job'. Normal stuff.
Still not great mentally or emotionally, though.
I'd been hoping that once school was over, I'd have a little more brain-space. Time to get my shit together, so to speak. Instead I'm still stressed to hell, it's just a non-specific type of stress that I can't address by finishing a school project.
I really miss my friends.
In the end, I'm stuck doing some of the same avoidance coping mechanisms I did before: read fanfic, refuse to watch the endings of series', etc. I would do therapy but until I have a 'real job', I can't afford it, so until then I'm just waiting. Kinda sucks. I want a purpose again, but I don't want to job hunt for it. I hate job hunting.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-11 01:48 pm (UTC)job hunting sucks ass. I can only offer you a virtual hug.