About Private Access

[alchemistdoctor]

I'm still relatively nervous about allowing people private access. Fandom imploded on me one too many times and I'm wary now. As a result I'm more likely to subscribe, get to know people, and then slowly add access when I've got comfy.

This is just a note to say that, because a lot of people have added me to their access lists and it does seem to be a relative norm here, but until I'm more used to DW and have got my bearings, I'm gonna hold out on that. Thanks for your patience!

Comments

[muccamukk]

As someone who just added you (because I marked a post as locked, then forgot to lock it, and was already talking to anyway! HI!), I totally don't worry about reciprocal adding? I have lots of people who go various ways on that. Whatever you're comfortable with.

[alchemistdoctor]

Thanks! You reminded me of it with that post actually, but I’ve been meaning to post a PSA for a while because I know with the recent migration a lot of folk may be expecting the same type of “mutuals” culture. Which I never really got into on Tumblr anyway, so... I’m opting out.

[muccamukk]

I'm a big fan of the mutual subscription first thing. I usually don't immediately grant access either.

[kore]

....haaah, I did that until I gave in and made everything access-locked by default. I have to remember to unlock stuff, but that's better than trying to remember to lock it.

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

Plenty of us subscribe first, access grant later.

[alchemistdoctor]

Good to know!

[kore]

As someone who had a pair of e-stalkers monitoring every online public move for years and years....I feel you there.

I also think DW is set up so you don't need to feel like you're not 'friendly' if you don't give people access -- friending on LJ was super fraught because of that. IMHO it's perfectly fine to write a policy post or put it in your profile or wherever and expect people to respect that.

[alchemistdoctor]

Yeah, I have shitty family and shitty "ex-friends", and new spaces are always iffy until I'm sure none of them are following me. It's not fun.

I'm getting that vibe, especially with how many people stopped into this post to reassure me! It's really nice.

[kore]

Yeah, one e-stalker had me friended with all her socks. After a while it wasn't even so much the pretense I would give her access, but "I'm watching everything you post publicly here." Ugh.

[alchemistdoctor]

That would be my situation, basically, on many other forms of internet interaction. I went through a purge in 2018 and deleted most forms of social media, and have only recently started over.

[kore]

Yeah, I wound up deleting the LJ I had had since about 2000 (because SOMEHOW my half-sister also got access to it), deleted the LJ I made after that, a prior DW account, a Twitter account....so to see this whole "let's just copy something and cut and paste it with a link!" thing was....unpleasant.

[alchemistdoctor]

I'm very much a fan of being able to delete my entire online presence should I choose to leave a site. I don't always, sometimes I just change the name and leave it up, but I like having the option.

[kore]

Did you see that thing recently about how some websites say they delete your content, but they don't really (maybe so the gov't can ask for it)? I dunno how much of that to believe tho. Like how Gmail supposedly keeps backups online that they delete after sixty days, BUT DO THEY. sigh.

[alchemistdoctor]

Yeah. That kind of stuff makes me tired, because I sit there like I know I should read the T&C when I sign up. I know I should. But they're so bleeping long and so bleeping boring and I just. Want. An email address.

Recently I switched to Protonmail, which has at least better security.

[lovetincture]

Just echoing the fact that there are no hard feelings here re: access or no access! I honestly don't even pay attention to that (and typically have no idea who's given me access or not). I'm an open book about pretty much everything on the internet, so I just grant access pretty freely-- but I totally respect and appreciate that other people have different boundaries. :D

[alchemistdoctor]

Thank you! It's nice to know this is less of an issue than I thought.

[aurora_boreali]

Understandable.

[smallhobbit]

I think granting access is entirely a personal decision. I have very few locked posts - pictures of my granddaughter. and ones where I talk about my involvement in my church (Anglican, not Southern Baptist!), but I know if I had problems with anyone on those posts I would instantly deny them access.

[alchemistdoctor]

It seems like it's much less 'expected' than I thought, and I'm very relieved about it, because I really didn't want to be seen as the person who wouldn't make friends. :)

[tozka]

Yeah, one of the things I like best about DW is that we DO have different levels of access-- we can be always public, always private, or a combination of both! :)

Also, just a head's up, but I read through some of your public entries and really liked them, so I'm adding you to my subscriptions! <3

[alchemistdoctor]

I just did the same! Hello and welcome! :D