About Private Access

[alchemistdoctor]

I'm still relatively nervous about allowing people private access. Fandom imploded on me one too many times and I'm wary now. As a result I'm more likely to subscribe, get to know people, and then slowly add access when I've got comfy.

This is just a note to say that, because a lot of people have added me to their access lists and it does seem to be a relative norm here, but until I'm more used to DW and have got my bearings, I'm gonna hold out on that. Thanks for your patience!

Comments

[kore]

As someone who had a pair of e-stalkers monitoring every online public move for years and years....I feel you there.

I also think DW is set up so you don't need to feel like you're not 'friendly' if you don't give people access -- friending on LJ was super fraught because of that. IMHO it's perfectly fine to write a policy post or put it in your profile or wherever and expect people to respect that.

[alchemistdoctor]

Yeah, I have shitty family and shitty "ex-friends", and new spaces are always iffy until I'm sure none of them are following me. It's not fun.

I'm getting that vibe, especially with how many people stopped into this post to reassure me! It's really nice.

[kore]

Yeah, one e-stalker had me friended with all her socks. After a while it wasn't even so much the pretense I would give her access, but "I'm watching everything you post publicly here." Ugh.

[alchemistdoctor]

That would be my situation, basically, on many other forms of internet interaction. I went through a purge in 2018 and deleted most forms of social media, and have only recently started over.

[kore]

Yeah, I wound up deleting the LJ I had had since about 2000 (because SOMEHOW my half-sister also got access to it), deleted the LJ I made after that, a prior DW account, a Twitter account....so to see this whole "let's just copy something and cut and paste it with a link!" thing was....unpleasant.

[alchemistdoctor]

I'm very much a fan of being able to delete my entire online presence should I choose to leave a site. I don't always, sometimes I just change the name and leave it up, but I like having the option.

[kore]

Did you see that thing recently about how some websites say they delete your content, but they don't really (maybe so the gov't can ask for it)? I dunno how much of that to believe tho. Like how Gmail supposedly keeps backups online that they delete after sixty days, BUT DO THEY. sigh.

[alchemistdoctor]

Yeah. That kind of stuff makes me tired, because I sit there like I know I should read the T&C when I sign up. I know I should. But they're so bleeping long and so bleeping boring and I just. Want. An email address.

Recently I switched to Protonmail, which has at least better security.