a couple of comfortable bed-rooms

Website

Tue, 19 Oct 2021 15:12:05 GMT

So I made myself a website. I'm not linking it here yet because I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, but that's why I haven't been on here, I've been setting it up. I really wanted a space on the internet that was Mine and didn't have Terms of Service or Advertisements or any major companies at all. Dreamwidth was close but I wanted to really be able to just. Fuck around and find out, you know?

I'm running it via Wordpress and honestly while that is nice and fine at all, I kinda wanna just. Go feral and back to basic CSS/HTML. I might make a subdomain and have one posh site and one absolutely feral section. Who knows?

Anyway, I'm trying to support people who are also on the tinet (tiny 'net, because I'm too lazy to type that every time) because I'm really, really tired of Reddit and Twitter and even Tumblr (I deleted my facebook ages ago) and so I'm thinking it's probably time to just shift drastically. I love the tinet too, it's got old professors writing intense dialogues in bad html, and little science gidgets, and men who will make full cannon in their backyard in alaska... it's good. Yeah, it takes a little more work to get there, but. Meh. It's worth the bookmarks.

Speaking of bookmarks, I joined Pinboard.in after finding out they even had a fandom bookmarklet option, and I really like it. 10/10.

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"Country"

Sun, 21 Mar 2021 15:56:14 GMT

I grew up in Colorado, where "being in the country" meant being in wilderness. Nobody for miles. Or, if your house was in the country, it meant you had to drive for a half hour to an hour away from all the other houses in order to get there. Land.

Country music made no sense to me, because A) nobody in the country I knew talked like that and B) there were always lyrics that said stuff like "I'm going to the mall to show off my tractor" or some shit, and there were no Malls in the country.

Now that I am on the East Coast, though? It makes so much sense. Country here is an aesthetic, not a real thing. I had a friend who grew up considering herself country. She grew up in Allentown. Like, Allentown is big, y'all.

On the East Coast if you don't live in the Major Cities (here in PA that would be Philly and Pittsburgh) then you're country. Even if you're in a big-ass town, you're country. And now the music makes allll the sense. Here, they'd call my sort of country "the wilderness."

I miss wilderness, but hey! At least country makes sense now.

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And now for something entirely different.

Thu, 30 Apr 2020 19:56:00 GMT

massivesci posted: And now some stories of scientists getting mansplained to

I'm the last interviewee. :D

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Camera and JohnBear

Tue, 28 Apr 2020 19:31:54 GMT

I promised a friend a little John Watson bear to add to her bear family, so here he is:

I'm now making him a John Watson Jumper, as is tradition.

In other odd things I've done, I woke up this morning to a shipping notification, and upon being very confused, I realised that somehow I woke up in the middle of the night, did some comparison shopping according to my account history, and bought a camera stand.

What even. I remember none of this.

A little part of my brain has been considering a knitting stream/video thing, wherein I knit and video it, and do nothing else. No tutorial, nothing, just the knitting. Many people have said watching me is calming, so I thought maybe it would just be a fun project. But no stand meant it wouldn't happen, because I can't knit and hold a camera at the same time.

I guess sleep-shopping me decided it was time.

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Accomplishments

Mon, 20 Apr 2020 21:11:25 GMT

I finally finished quilting this quilt. I've got quilt binding on order, so I can set it aside until the binding arrives. It's such a relief to just. Not have to care about it.

It won't be real relief until I can take it out of the project bin, though. Project bin is too full and driving me a little nuts. I try to keep things organised, but it's still just a lot. When the quilt is bound I can at least take it out and the project bin will look much better.

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Slow going

Fri, 17 Apr 2020 04:10:15 GMT

Hand quilting takes ages. As soon as I get to the edges, I can machine quilt, but the center means the fabric won’t fit under the arm of my machine. So: by hand. And so this quilt has taken an age, cause I keep setting it aside cause I hate hand quilting.

But today I did four diamonds and I am very proud of myself.

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Lawd

Thu, 16 Apr 2020 16:45:42 GMT

TW: Fandom wank, darkfic, vague mention of nonconsensual vore

There are two types of people I loathe in fandom: the ones who read tagged warnings, disregard them, and then go on to leave wank all over stuff because "wawaaaah my mental health/bad things in fic/stuff I don't like exists", and the people who don't tag at all and then complain about people wanting tags/not interacting.

Especially on the Archive, but just in general.

Group A sit in their glass houses, throwing stones and then whining when their house gets broken -- you hurt me by writing this, I know you put up a big sign that said pointy writing don't touch without gloves but then I touched it without gloves and you are now personally responsible for the spines in my finger. Like wow. Unhealthy mental projection up the ass, and, in addition, so much entitlement. They've fucked over so many fandom spots: Tumblr's a big one, that finally caved to the pressure of "nothing that can hurt the infant babies, what if children see" despite under-13 being banned from the site in the terms of service. I'm a MorMor fan, okay, there is NOTHING healthy and good about two serial killers/criminals/general douchebags fucking around together, and of course I got these attacks on the reg.

On the other hand? Group B? Just as bad. These guys sit on their thrones of "long-term fandom" with an attitude of, "Get over it, if you don't have a thick skin yet, you're just too baby of a fan." Like those assholes who bulldoze waitstaff with the excuse of "I was a waiter, once they work here a while they'll get used to it." Uh. Or maybe we could just be kind?

I'm not saying stop writing darkfic, like no, uh. I've written it. But just fucking tag your things, people. "It's too much effort." You just wrote 50k words about Hannibal noncon literally eating Will, and you can't type "nonconsensual vore"? Two words??????? "I feel like less people read my fic when they know what's in it." Uh, yeah, you get more hits when there's no 'nonconsensual vore' tag, because some people don't like nonconsensual vore, got halfway through and noped out.

But let's say you're on the Archive, which is excellent because it forces you to do at least a few major warning tags, and gives you an out, that says Author Chose not to Use Archive Warnings. Great, you think, and you hit that. Awesome! Good job!

Then I fucking better never see you complain on any platform ever about decreased readership/engagement. Even obliquely, and yes I do mean those goddamn Twitter polls "I haven't seen much on my last fic, what do you think I should try next??" You chose not to warn, and people went, "Aha, this area has been unmarkéd on my Quest Map, I shall hereforwith give it a wide berth" and now you're whining.

Also, it turns out that tags have an actual primary use, that's secondary to all this nonsense: helping people sort things! And you're not helping! At all! The Archive is working really hard to keep records organised and you're just sitting there, happily whiting out the front cover so nobody knows where to shelve you. Ugh.

I see a lot of whining about Group A, then whining about Group B, and then fandom swings back to Group A every few years, like a pendulum of Dumb Shit, and I'm just.

Tag your shit, read the tags, don't like the tags, don't read the fic.

Don't shout "don't like don't read" and not tag. I didn't know I was about to read something I don't like or I wouldn't have read it, that's the point of tagging.

And lastly? If you sit there all "tags ruin my plot reveal"? Then you're just a bad writer, buddy, and bad at tagging. You don't have to tag "Tony Stark dies horribly." Just tag "major character death" and "gore", yadumbass.

Endrant.

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Back with a Plan

Tue, 07 Apr 2020 18:07:18 GMT

Hello.

So one of the main reasons I hadn't been using DW much is cause I had this weird pressure, like this is a Real Blogging site, I have to Really Blog on it, like have an actual plan for my writing and use full stops and be Coherent.

But like: Twitter is ruining my soul and not long enough. Tumblr had most of the Elders leave and is now a weird mishmash of 12 year olds, literal children who have no shared life experience, I love them but they are babies, and Social Media People who have Followings and I just can't deal with that. And Reddit is... Reddit. Like don't get me wrong I'm not deleting any of the above, I'll keep my accounts because I want to see what my few friends post, but in general, they don't do well for me actually Posting.

The other thing about DW is that in order to Make Friends you have to comment on other peoples' posts and that Stresses Me Out. I love getting comments but giving them feels like taking some kind of Internet Shield and throwing it away, vulnerable to the Discourse Arrows, and it's TERRIFYING

So here I am, deciding. New way to use DW.
1) no pressure for full blog post. Tiny blog post okay. Twitter size bite okay. Do not have to tag perfectly. Whatever. Tags can be edited later.
2) I don't have to comment. If I want to I will and if I don't want to, I will not, and sometimes maybe I will just leave an emoticon to express "I read this".
3) It's okay to need a social media outlet in a time when everything is falling apart, and it's okay to police those outlets as I like, which means yes I get to put up what I want and yes I get to block people I don't like and yes, I am allowed to be a little bit of a bitch on my own page, cause it's mine.

So yeah, I'm back. With a plan.

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New Job! Also, fic!

Tue, 25 Jun 2019 23:42:00 GMT

I'm so tired, but at least it's the good kind!

So I've finally got a job! I'm officially a forensic scientist, and I'm goddamn proud. I'm not making huge amounts, but I'm definitely making enough to start paying off the bills, and it's such a relief!

Downside? Work starts at 6. Which means I have to get up around 4:30. Oof. It's an adjustment. It's four ten-hour days, though, which means 3 days off a week, so I'm good.

I got a gym membership, too, because I'm being an adult. Also because I'm tired of feeling like a guest in my own body. I'm not doing this to get fit, or lose weight; I just want to get to know this meatbag a little better so as I age I'm not continually at odds with it.

I finally have wifi at my house! I'm so glad, I was spending far, far too much at coffee shops.

And, to top it all off, I started another fic, because I have Avengers feelings. Eventual poly-shipping, fix-it fic. Because I am allowed to have happy endings.

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FTH, Jobs, and A Health Rant

Mon, 10 Jun 2019 20:10:54 GMT

My Fandom Tr*mps Hate fic is now up on Ao3! Eddie/Venom. I have like 6 Marvel fics I need to write and still need to finish Posh Boy.

On the other hand, still job-hunting, but I'm happily at the Interview stage in most of these applications, so I'm hoping that I'm going to get something soon.

And finally: my body. WTF. Listen. Being a physical human sucks. So much. I can't exercise in most ways because my body is very fucked. But also I don't like gaining weight. Also I'm 27, so why is my reproductive system trying to kill me already? That's not supposed to happen until menopause. Aren't I supposed to have some portion of my life where I get to enjoy my body being young? Cause that's not a thing for me, and I'm feeling cheated. Very, very cheated.

I'm considering saving up for a nutritionist. I want to have a better idea of how to give my body what it needs without boring the fuck out of my taste buds, and doctors get very, very little nutrition training (just FYI). I need a checkup, diagnosis for whatever-the-fuck my ovaries keep doing, and then a nutritionist.

Also, there's a lump on my leg and I don't know what it is, so that's worrisome. As soon as I get health insurance I have so much to take care of, not that I'll be able to afford any of these pipe dreams because I live in the US at the moment. (Dear US of MotherFucking A: Please get on the ball with Universal Fucking Healthcare AKA Helping People Not Die.)

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Exhaustion from Rest

Sat, 11 May 2019 03:01:30 GMT

I've done it. Officially finished my bachelor's. Passed Orgo 2. I'm exhausted.

I have had a few days off, gotten my head together a bit better. I'm still not 100%. I think a lot of this is that all my friends are gone, off to their 'homes', but also just that I don't do well without productivity. I've been working on my FTH work, scrapped two drafts. Working on my resume. Slowly building anxiety about getting a 'real job'. Normal stuff.

Still not great mentally or emotionally, though.

I'd been hoping that once school was over, I'd have a little more brain-space. Time to get my shit together, so to speak. Instead I'm still stressed to hell, it's just a non-specific type of stress that I can't address by finishing a school project.

I really miss my friends.

In the end, I'm stuck doing some of the same avoidance coping mechanisms I did before: read fanfic, refuse to watch the endings of series', etc. I would do therapy but until I have a 'real job', I can't afford it, so until then I'm just waiting. Kinda sucks. I want a purpose again, but I don't want to job hunt for it. I hate job hunting.

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Signal Boost: Day 27 - DC Character - Detective Chimp

Fri, 29 Mar 2019 22:41:38 GMT

alexcat posted: Day 27 - DC Character - Detective Chimp

Detective Chimp (alias Bobo T. Chimpanzee) is a fictional comic book character appearing in books published by DC Comics. A common chimpanzee who wears a deerstalker hat (à la Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's fictional sleuth Sherlock Holmes), Detective Chimp has human-level intelligence and solves crimes, often with the help of the Bureau of Amplified Animals, a group of intelligent animals that also includes Rex the Wonder Dog. He was originally created in the final years of the Golden Age of Comic Books, during the interregnum between the former and the Silver Age of Comic Books.

Why is this so funny. I love him.

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Corset Take 2

Sat, 23 Mar 2019 20:18:16 GMT

Starting off with this video which is a little long, but totally worth watching if you're interested in corsets.

And also, this!

Now onto my own experience.

I also have a curvature to my spine, but I never got into a brace for it. Nonetheless, the corset I have has its ups and downs. Padding is definitely required in some places if I want to have an 'even' silhouette. (I don't much care, so I don't pad.)

Additionally, I found (and was supported by Bernadette in Video 1 above) that if I have my corset laced entirely up so that the boning is against my spine, I am in pain. So, I don't fully tighten. After doing some research on Reddit, other corset wearers, even tight-lacers, have mentioned that it is less about having the corset fully tightened as much as it is about having the laces even - you want your back pieces to be parallel, not in a /\ or \/ shape. So I just give myself some parallel space for my spine, and all is well. However, I do wish I'd ordered a corset a few inches smaller for myself because obviously this means my corset is looser, mostly around the bust area where I wanted a bit more support.

However, it turns out that my breasts don't really mind not being supported just so long as my back has the support it needs -- in other words, I feel very little if my breasts hang naturally, it's my back that needs the extra help standing straight from the imbalance of weight distributed back to front. In fact, I have a grand range of movement of my arms and shoulders that I don't have with a modern bra.

There is a bit of trouble bending. By which I mean, I bend at the hips or not at all. Additionally, twisting is limited. This means that putting on, say, shoes and socks is done from a seated position with my foot on my knee rather than bending to tie them, and even then I am not terrifically flexible at the hips, so I struggle a little. After looking at others' experiences I found that most of them go by the rule "Shoes first, then corset" -- which makes sense historically, as floors would be cold in non-centrally-heated houses, so getting dressed bottom-up is logical. However, we don't wear shoes in my house, so I do a bit of contorting before leaving for the store.

Lastly, smoothing undergarments are reasonable if you intend to wear trousers or light skirts with a corset that has any sort of hip section. This is due to the hip flare, which allows for more shape but then can 'drop' to your natural hip where the corset ends. However, I wear boxer briefs for comfort reasons (they're heavenly. Say goodbye to the wedgie) and I just tug the waistband over the corset. Other corset wearers use garter belts or leggings.

Now that I've figured out how to wear my corset comfortably (no stays against the spine, etc), I honestly really enjoy wearing it. My back appreciates the support, and I don't find breathing difficult, even from my diaphragm, because I'm not tightlacing (except the occasional yawn). An added benefit is that now I can tailor my garments to a known shape, rather than just body measurements. This allows for tighter-fitted garments without worrying about my weight fluctuating by a few pounds. I tried a first attempt on an old shirt, and while I still haven't got a fix for gaping buttons at the breasts (help), I was very pleased with the results, and I'm just gonna wear a tie with it to close the gape from now on.

Am I a little inspired to make my own corset? Yes. I'd love to have one that is a little more tailored to my particular measurements. There are corset makers who craft bespoke pieces, but they're far, far out of my price range, so I shall have to work with what I have. But I maaay be considering what to do with some scrap denim and canvas this summer once school's out. We'll see.

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Mini Frustrations, also Socks

Tue, 19 Mar 2019 02:32:23 GMT

I wish I could show you all my work and have you be like WOW that is AMAZING, but unfortunately it's all stuff that's either boring as hell to a non-chemist/biologist, or is probably confidential so far. All I want are some bragging rights, is that too much to ask?

On the other hand I've started a pair of socks using some old chenille. It's a try-out of a pattern to see if I like the way the sole's made, and while this stuff is ridiculous yarn, it's also ridiculously soft, so hopefully even the try-out is wearable.

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The Witch of the Westmorland

Sat, 16 Mar 2019 23:16:42 GMT

This song is gorgeous but also? This girl is #goals.

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A Linkspam

Mon, 11 Mar 2019 14:51:26 GMT

I've got too many webpages open on my phone; time to share (and make myself a happy to-do list at the same time).

This page has a collection of bra patterns for those of us outside the A-C cup range. Bras are expensive and someday I plan on having this kind of skill. Right now it's a... research opportunity.

I'm a textile artist. When in London, I paid especial attention to the textiles, especially the lace, knitting, and embroidery, and I was fascinated by the quality. Which lead to looking up a few ways to improve my own:

About the Back of Embroidery (blog post about cleaning up the backside)
Reversible Stitching (a list of stitches that look the same front/back)
Keep It Neat (Ways to clean up the backside)
Tips and Techniques (Many tutorials!)

A guide on how to do English Paper Piecing (#CarryAroundQuilting).

NSFW: Read with me about Vibrators and the Victorians. (The whoresofyore website is a gem altogether.)

This Christmas Special of Granada Holmes is worth a watch. Odd and yet charming? It's too bad the audio isn't the best, because I love Brett's voice.

This Asexuality Comic made me laugh (relatable).

Speaking of queer stuff, Qunify is a queer community group in Philadelphia.

And finally, a small thing I'm considering for a few people.

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Circles

Sat, 09 Mar 2019 20:50:28 GMT

I'm trying to figure out this circle thing. If you would like to be in my access list, please leave a comment below, and I'll add you. I'm going to try a new system of letting in those who show interest and then closing the circle if my mental health demands it.

Also: Stay tuned, because later this week I am finally going to type up that corset summary.

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Oh Dear God: A Catch-all Post

Fri, 01 Mar 2019 22:15:24 GMT

News: The sherlockkinkmeme has been modded. I'm tired. I've finished so many papers. Spring break is right around the horizon. I'm tired.

Other news: I will, sometime over spring break, write another corset update. Also, I hope to write another chapter of Posh Boy cause I miss my sex god John Watson.

I'm so tired. I'm so, so tired. I pulled 3 14-hour school days this week and yes, I caught up on a lot of things, but I'm not sure it was worth it. God bless the Wine and Crime podcast (plugging it) because it helped me get through the week.

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Failed an Exam

Thu, 14 Feb 2019 18:58:37 GMT

And I'm past 'done' and reaching 'dangerous' territory.

Thing is, I already passed this course at QM, but they wouldn't transfer it back for credit. I'm retaking this course just to get the credit on my transcript.

Tell me how taking a course in Nowheresville, PA, is somehow harder than taking the same course at a medical school? Because I'm so, so tired. I just want to graduate. I want to be done.

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Back-ish

Sat, 09 Feb 2019 03:50:59 GMT

Hello! Thank you to everyone who left me well-wishes on my 'sick' post. I'm feeling better, but I'm now ages behind because of missing lectures while ill, so I'm going to be catching up for a bit before I spend much time on DW again. Thank you all again for your wonderful comments, they were hugely helpful when my brain was trying to guilt me for being 'lazy' when ill.

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Sick

Tue, 05 Feb 2019 03:31:32 GMT

Just a note to say A) I'm sick AF, B) I'll be back when I'm feeling better, C) Sorry the kinkmeme isn't modded ATM, I'm getting to it as soon as I'm back.

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Corset: Day 1

Sun, 27 Jan 2019 17:05:38 GMT

So, I have large breasts and back problems, and after ages of struggling with posture and headaches and backaches and the rest, several people suggested corsets. Not the tight-lacing type, but something with structure to keep my back straight and my breasts fully supported instead of putting all of their weight on a band, some wire, and my poor, aching shoulders. I've kept an eye on decent corsets ever since, looking for something that wasn't about changing my body shape. Most of those were historical corsets, and historical corset replicas cost a mint.

However, eventually a cosplay/kink store had a sale on some fancy-dress corsets, and reading reviews I gathered they weren't waist-shaping, had support, and were good quality. Eventually I caved on this lady, because she was on clearance enough for me to get.

The sizing was easy enough, and it arrived last night. Today I put it on for a day around the house: I'd rather be uncomfortable at home than at school where I can't change out of it. My starter idea is to try one week with wearing it consistently, and see how I feel. If I don't feel great, I'll stick with only wearing it occasionally on really bad shoulder/back days when I need support, stomach gurglies be damned.

I mention the stomach gurglies because while so far I'm feeling pretty comfy in this, I have been burping. There's no room for all that extra air.

Anyway, current thoughts, after about an hour in this thing:

Getting into trousers was interesting. You can't bend the way you normally do. I can see why they put skirts on over their heads. However, it's manageable. I'd be able to put shoes on without too much contortion.
Kinky corsets are always worn bare, nothing underneath. That's bollocks. This thing is lined but I go with wearing a shift/undershirt underneath. It helps my skin breathe.
My lower back! I didn't realise how much I slouched until I was forced to sit up. I don't feel uncomfortable, but I do notice different muscles working to keep me upright, and most of them are in my lower back.
I understand why they made chairs that stiffed-back style back in the day. My chairs don't make any sense unless I'm curving my back into a convex shape. Now I sit up straight and the chairs have too much room.
I can, in fact, yawn, sneeze, and do my breathing just fine. This isn't a tight-waisted corset, like I said, so even though I was expecting to feel uncomfortably constricted, I'm happily surprised.
Suddenly? I can't sit? Cross-legged??? It turns out that crossing your legs doesn't work unless you can curve your spine and pop your hip, and I can't do that, and so I'm currently in the position you're trained to have when your work makes you watch orientation ergonomics videos. Feet apart, flat on the floor, elbows bent at the right angle, the lot. And it feels right. WTF.
I've had bloating for the past couple of weeks. That's not an option in this. I can feel my stomach gurgle. It's bizarre. I have the odd feeling this might actually help my digestive issues move themselves along -- the posture should help with that, if nothing else. It's such a strange feeling though.
Putting my hands on my waist is a POWER POSE.

Anyway, I'm gonna do tiny updates this week if I can remember to do so.

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AUGH

Thu, 24 Jan 2019 21:50:13 GMT

The older I get and the more articles I read on the subject, the angrier I get about Watson and Crick stealing everything Rosalind Franklin should have had.

Fuck them.

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One Day at a Time

Tue, 22 Jan 2019 22:29:28 GMT

Well now that I've typed that title, I have to insert some good old 1970's nonsense*:

Now that's done, a mini rant:

Right now I've got my thesis and four other courses going on, and I'm overwhelmed. Not in the day-by-day sense, but in the sense that I go from understanding high-complexity concepts to understanding more high-complexity concepts, one to the other to the other, with very little time for my brain to break. While yes, theoretically, I have enough time to get all my things done, that only works if I take no time to decompress.

I'm feeling very compressed.

*Godspell is hysterical in that I'm convinced you have to be high in order to make it, and yet Christians who believe the stuff in it would tell you that being high is a sin. I'm so amused by it. The music's still prime 70's nonsense though. 10/10. Edit: Also the costumes. My god, the costumes.

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Venom Fics

Mon, 21 Jan 2019 21:00:45 GMT

So, thanks to the Fandom Stockings finally being released, I have two new fics over at Ao3:

Fire (592 words) by Aelfay
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Venom (Movie 2018)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Venom Symbiote & Anne Weying
Characters: Anne Weying, Eddie Brock | Venom, Eddie Brock
Additional Tags: Candles, Hanukkah
Summary:

Venom is of the opinion candles are for eating.

Pinned (1527 words) by Aelfay
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Venom (Movie 2018)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Eddie Brock/Venom Symbiote
Characters: Eddie Brock, Eddie Brock | Venom
Additional Tags: Dom/sub
Summary:

You like it, V said, low and dangerous in his ear, and Eddie's stomach jolted. When you aren't the one in charge.

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